Show Time = 72:59 | File Size = 33.3 MB

Intro Song: “Hey Hey USA” by The Weird Lovemakers

Topics: 4th of July, Hottest show ever…temperature-wise, Roseanne episode, 1880s night at Club Congress, Wal*Mart stories, Derek is a guy-girl, lesbian ballet, TV shows we like, MySpace messages, blocking in Lind Z, go to iTunes and vote for us, kids day at Hooters, Big Bertha, DJ QBert Battle - Lamb Chops, dog poop

Links:
Club Congress
MySpace
CatchUNextTuesday on iTunes
Hooters
DJ QBert

Outro Song: “Vegemite” by The Weird Lovemakers

Show Time = 80:09 | File Size = 36.8 MB

Song: “Spam” by Sudden Death

Topics:  Derek demonstrates teabagging, we sing the Arizona fight song, noun-on-noun action, the origin of our dog’s name (who you’ll hear barking at the end), Melissa hating on self-professed “shock jocks”, Derek’s conversion to Judaism, the perennial phone ringing while recording, and our responses to some voicemail, email, and MySpace messages.

Links:
Pink is the New Blog
I Love Egg
w00t
Sean Cody

Show Ten - Derek’s 21st Birthday Show!

Show Time = 57:01 | File Size = 26.1 MB

Show #0010 (Happy Birfday, Derek!)

00:04 - Erick propositions Melissa
00:09 - Intro
00:20 - Melissa kills the show
00:33 - On our way to celebrate Derek’s birthday at the local gay bar!
01:01 - Listen to “Gay Bar” by Electric Six
02:55 - Derek doesn’t go to the forums (but you should!)
03:07 - Derek informs us that he will be making out with Erick JTLYK
04:03 - Melissa’s 2^nd job is programming the Risk board game (is that OK, RIAA?)
04:58 - Undercover cops drive in lowrider trucks apparently
06:59 - Word of the month: IRRITATED
07:50 - Derek got a birthday hug from a drag queen
08:09 - Derek’s favorite thing is watching drag queens pee
09:12 - Listen to “Cosmos” by Option42 while we drive
15:06 - We’re at IBT’s!
15:23 - Rebecca is going to dance so hard to Kelly Clarkson
15:29 - Rebecca invites Josh (who she just met) to be in our podcast
15:38 - Josh is wearing a shirt for 2 weeks to win $500 from onenotecampus.com
17:23 - Rebecca gave Derek jam for his birthday! (And then took it back)
17:46 - Michelle gave Derek tea bags for his birthday!
18:52 - It’s fun to squeeze a straight boy’s ass at a gay bar
19:10 - There’s more fecal matter on vending machine buttons than in bathrooms!
19:50 - Shouts-out to all our listeners (even the ones not mentioned by name)
21:52 - We toast to Derek’s 21^st birthday
22:31 - Is it true that in England, it’s rude to clink your glasses during a toast?
23:12 - DJ Mike Lopez creates the new holiday known as “Mexicus”
24:40 - HAPPY MEXICUS!
26:59 - This just in: Derek is trashed!
27:25 - DJ Mike Lopez announces Mexicus on the dance floor; the crowd goes wild!
27:38 - DJ Mike Lopez spins Ciara’s “Goodies”; the crowd again goes wild!
27:49 - DJ Mike Lopez tells his life story
30:03 - Trying to figure out what people from the east coast say (I think we all agree they say “Whateva, fuck it, eh”)
30:53 - Rebecca apologizes for Derek’s offensiveness to lesbos
32:09 - Erick’s invention
32:26 - Seth names the invention “Fergie Pants” (who peed her pants on stage with the Black Eyed Peas)
33:56 - We see Seth’s hair stylist, Courtney
35:38 - Derek gets a Joaquin Phoenix look-alike’s number, but doesn’t remember his name
36:50 - Rebecca leaves
37:15 - Courtney says “’ello!”
39:23 - The rest of us leave the club
39:57 - We hear Derek break the proverbial seal in public
41:38 - We call Joaquin’s voicemail to see if he says his name on his voicemail greeting
43:18 - Derek touches Melissa’s uniboob
43:42 - Derek doesn’t drop the iRiver
44:25 - We’re at Denny’s now!
45:58 - Derek doesn’t ram…or remember Joaquin’s real name
47:40 - Word of the Day: Malversation
49:14 - If you wiggle it more than twice, it’s playing with it
49:27 - The straw wrappers are 69ing
50:55 - We order our food; queens first (ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)
53:35 - The waitress thinks we’re on a double date because Derek is sitting too close to Erick
56:04 - Goodnight, Baby
56:15 - Derek remembers Joaquin’s name!  Tune in to find out what it is!

- The C-Cast (but mainly Melissa)

Rocco’s Little Chicago Pizzeria, official eatery of the Catch
U Next Tuesday Podcast!

Turns out Fannee Dooley is a religious hard liner for the
First Baptist’s of America!

What Would Catch U Next Tuesday Do?  That’s pretty deep.

Show Nine - Attention Deficit Disorder has never sounded so good!

Show Time = 01:01:27 | File Size = 28.2 MB

Show #0009 (Wanna Ride Bikes?)

00:00 - What the fuck is wrong with this computer
00:01 - Intro
00:07 - Bob Narley and The Killer Kona Buds - Vagina
01:00 - Derek still obsessed w/ Atticus
01:05 - Melissa hates Derek, he is a drama QUEEN
01:14 - Melissa is also a bitch
01:25 - Melissa locks herself in her room
01:35 - Melissa and Derek kiss & make up
01:52 - What is Derek on?
02:09 - Derek sometimes “accidentally” touches boobs
02:56 - Erick is tired
03:07 - Erick sees “Doom” a.k.a. Duke Nukem
03:53 - PG-13 is the only reason bad movies are bad
04:26 - Bored now!
04:54 - Lil John offers Brooke V. some fried
chicken
05:30 - Derek has a steak on his face
05:48 - Derek is allergic to nuts
05:58 - Melissa is allergic to melons
06:43 - SLAM!!!
06:58 - Dylan’s IM
09:16 - Popcorn Melissa
09:47 - Melissa reads Dylan’s IM via the Wallace & Gromit Ech-O-Matic
11:48 - Melissa is very white power and continues with Dylan’s IM
13:12 - Erick is bored with Atticus
however Derek is not
13:35 - Hold Please…
13:50 - …It’s 4:20 P.M.  Your call is very important to us.  Please
remain on the line and your call will be answered in the order in which it was
received…
15:26 - …AND we’re back
16:06 - IM bomb luvreallyhurtz26
and remember to tell them Vincent sent you!
18:44 - Melissa and Derek read an IM from luvreallyhurtz26
21:31 - BLOCKED!!!
21:38 - YEAY, Dylan’s on AIM!!
21:57 - Dylan’s a Whore
22:12 - Dylan had the "surgery"
22:56 - Derek types slow
24:20 - Derek’s sisters are the next special guests
24:46 - IM #1
25:00 - Marketing survey, but not really
25:24 - IM #2
25:32 - IM #3
25:45 - IM #92479832740123
25:52 - Keith from Keith & the Girl
is RIGHT!!
26:02 - Jersey accent just like Melissa
28:03 - Dylan cheats on Derek
29:00 - Promo Homo contest
29:55 - Melissa wins!
30:08 -
DO NOT STEP ON SETH’S YUM-YUMS!!!
(Warning:  20 MB Video File)
31:02 - Ching-Chang
31:19 - Melissa is racist about Crackas
32:38 - Styx and
Genesis are Seth’s jams
33:11 - Erick needs another drink because he’s from south of the border
35:17 - Celebrate Derek’s b-day at IBT’s
35:55 - Derek’s “fake” ID
37:10 - Double D Penis
38:10 - I love and dry humped
Becky
40:22 - Melissa is talking to Toby, he made out with
Graham Norton
42:08 - No more XXX of Derek
43:15 - Kohl with a “K”
44:14 - Ellen DeGeneres-DeRossi needs to be on the show
46:51 - Promo Homo Contest
48:17 - Erick states we’re done
48:47 - Melissa can read Derek’s lips
49:48 - A little more tongue on the mic
50:45 -
Becky accuses everyone
51:53 -
Becky two-shoes
53:09 - Derek loses the game and then, much like
Clarissa, explains it all
53:51 - Seth tries to win, but he can’t
55:15 - Derek’s gonna give "someone" the red carpet treatment
55:55 - Vote for us on
Pod Cast Alley
56:09 - Plugs of all kinds
56:27 - 206-350-2868 (CUNT)
56:46 - Catch U Next Tuesday Forums
are NOW OPEN!!!
57:41 - Derek’s MySpace
58:30 - Outro: Bob Narley and The Killer Kona Buds - Vagina

- The C-Cast

Show Eight; Derek’s back for the Fan Mail/Male Episode!

Show time = 49:32 min | File size = 22.6mb

Show #0008 (The fan-loving episode!)

00:02 - Intro
00:08 - Duke Nukem
00:15 - Derek introduces “Smells Like Rain” by the
Weird Lovemakers
00:22 - Derek is back not realizing he had been replaced for 1 show
00:52 - Melissa and Derek…IN STEREO
01:08 - Melissa has a refreshing drink
01:34 - Derek gives a shout out to Jayla…ANTM
02:03 - Derek requests hate letters for his absence
02:12 - Erick wants to go down!
02:32 - Derek has a new hot BF from Oregon
02:55 - Derek get religious for only 1 sec
03:31 - Derek owns up to his crack habit
03:56 - Melissa interrupts Derek from interrupting Erick
04:10 - Erick starts to read Gavin’s C-Mail™
04:50 - Melissa shrieks at the thought of her only phone call of the day
05:32 - Seth concludes that C.U.N.T. is the David Hasselhoff of podcasting
05:43 - Melissa = Bitch, and Gavin’s C-Mail™ = All ‘bout Derek
06:36 - I didn’t know that Seth was British
06:42 - Melissa goes there
06:52 - Finally, what we have all been waiting for, MELISSA’S TURN
07:02 - Melissa starts to read Caroline’s C-Mail™
07:37 - I didn’t know Seth was Scottish either
08:57 - Fannie <3’s Jenni, (_o_) hates Caroline
09:33 - Erick starts to read James’ C-Mail™
09:36 - Melissa’s second on-air belch…this show
09:52 - HOW IS “GENERIC” A COMPLIMENT!?
10:27 - James saves $$ for teeth
11:14 - A C-Mail™ rarity
11:42 - Rhymes = raps
12:14 - Derek recaps why for a split second he didn’t like Southern Black Women
14:03 - Melissa poses the question, “Black or African-American”
14:45 - African-English
15:08 - Diva Derek’s™ turn, he reads Matt C’s C-Mail™
15:20 - Really, does no one know about Popcorn™?
15:52 - Erick’s son is special and rides the short bus
16:00 - Sore #7 brought up
17:13 - Derek is unable to read aloud
18:36 - Erick takes over for Derek
19:45 - Derek tongues the mic
20:13 - Stealth like stab @ Michelle
20:27 - Joint tonguing of the mic
20:40 - Northern Ireland C-Mail™
21:35 - Melissa is the fav and her accent rocks
22:32 - Duke Nukem never gets old
24:10 - Melissa plays V-Mail™ of “Cousin Gloria”
25:50 - Erick reads C-Mail™ from Georgia
27:18 - Guinness Statistic
28:20 - R.I.P Gwen concert
29:39 - Where’s Shane?
29:57 - HsDerektme@aol.com
31:40 - Yes means No
31:59 - ATTICUS = Derek’s BF
32:17 - Tom Rape Game™
33:08 - Tucson sucks
34:10 - Derek is conceited, who knew?
34:53 - How many times can we say pot?
35:15 - It is a known fact that Derek is hot
35:53 - Derek is belligerent and Melissa storms up out of there
36:06 - The Derek and Seth Hour™
36:37 - HsDerektme@aol.com
37:27 - ATTICUS’ MySpace™ interrupts C.U.N.T.
38:05 - Woops! Anna isn’t hated and Melissa’s accent shows through
40:40 - Derek is Melissa’s daddy
41:00 - Erick tells story of PUSSY on V-Mail™
42:08 - Quentin is crazy
43:00 - Shout outs to Derek’s loves
43:46 - Deet Deet boredom
43:45 – Raider’s Reef, “Legs ‘N’ Eggs”
45:40 - Chanda Leir a.k.a. Derek
47:09 - Erick gets ready to Tea Bag Derek
48:02 - Derek gets on his back
48:09 - Outro: Music by theWeird Lovemakers – "You’re So Fucking Pretty"
48:27 - Also support two ex-Weird Lovemakers in the Knockout Pills!
48:42 - Restart song

- The C-Cast

We now have a forum! So go forth and talk ISH to the masses at:

www.catchunexttuesday.com/forums

We’ll be posting all kinds of stuff in there soon. We might even post some pre-show subject matter. That way, you’ll get a chance to call in before the show and leave a comment about said subject matter.

Found something seriously f’ed up or funny on the web? Post it! Or email us…or whatever. Now TALK!!!

Show Lucky Seven!  Can you guess which C-Caster had better things to do?

Show time = 54:01 min | File size = 24.7mb

Show #0007 (The longest show yet; we strive for quantity, not quality)

00:02 - Intro
00:08 - We are missing one member; can you guess who?
00:27 - Michelle is our special guest
00:36 - The Killer Kona Buds’ song "Crusty the Snowman" is our jam
02:10 - Erick recounts his hike with the "special" children
06:48 - Have you guys figured out who’s missing yet?
07:52 - A very special voice message from our favorite "elected" official
10:23 - Leave us voice messages at: 1-206-350-2868 (CUNT)
11:16 - Derek’s part will be played by Michelle today
12:35 - Fan mail from Matt Cuntstubble
14:00 - Katrina victims are not refugees
15:17 - If You Wanna get near a Penis, use your Venus™
16:45 - Happy 70th Birthday, Dylan!
17:24 - Fan Mail from Nick, our favorite "football" player and Arizona sightseer
22:25 - We are the Knight Rider of podcasting
23:46 - Look out for our forthcoming album, Carnage Asada
24:43 - More Mexican stereotypes and bitchy children
28:52 - Michelle is the toast of the Octoberfest
33:24 - R.I.P. Gordo’s Mexicateria
34:17 - Seth has a run-in with an angry frau and her lederhosen T-shirt-wearing husband
38:43 - Seth found a pube in his calzone!
39:16 - Melissa finds the longest hair ever in her barbecue chicken
41:02 - Melissa finds a chunk of plastic in her cream cheese
41:22 - Seth watches an employee pick up bagels from the floor and continue cooking them
41:56 - Seth found a rubber band in his pasta
41:59 - Seth finds steel wool under his steak
42:20 - Michelle finds a band-aid in her ice cream sundae
45:40 - Melissa finds mold - not ham - in her grilled cheese sandwich
46:39 - What more does one expect from an establishment who misspells menu items?
47:14 - On Melissa’s way to Earthdance, she participates in a cupcake/drug deal (Happy Bday, Joey!)
49:01 - We are working on a forum on the website to incite race riots
49:54 - Seth qualifies for some of the job opportunities offered by Al-Qaeda
51:17 - Buy the new Depeche Mode album
51:50 - Outro: Music by The Killer Kona Buds - "Crusty the Snowman"

Uh Oh!…

You thought your ears were defiled before, now you kids are in for a super treat! Prepare to bare witness to the ultimate in drunk podcasting, or as Mr. Poose might say, DRUNK-O-CASTING™.  Instead of having our regular assortment of cast members we decided to change it up with a drunk guy, another somewhat, but not really, drunk guy, some drunk girls, and a drunk guy who likes to sleep with other intoxicated gentlemen, to bring you the finest in remote / on the scene podcasting.  Please beware, if your physician has limited you to a maximum of 4 F-B0MBs a day, you may need to split this particular 8 minute dose of the CatchUNextTuesday Podcast up into several manageable chunks before swallowing. Hehehe, I just said swallowing.

Show time = 08:25 min | File size = 6.01mb

Show #0006 (The stupid drunk @ Erick’s Bday party show!)

00:00 - E & M Prologue
02:16 - Intro
02:49 - WARNING - 4 F-B0MBs have just been skillfully executed, proceed with caution!
02:51 - Derek takes the opportunity to urge everyone to purchase one of his, and Erick’s, favorite DVD titles, Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Strip Tease
03:03 - Erick’s too drunk to remember to do introductions
03:16 - Mandi busts out with our first Fannee Doolee of the night
03:25 - Mandi attempts set our listeners straight / gay with her version of the fateful IHOP dinner
03:38 - 13 seconds into her story Derek hijacks it, Middle Eastern Style, and fast forwards to the exciting part
03:53 - 15 seconds later Mandi regains control of her story like the US military on a terrorist strong hold.
04:39 - Hurry up already, spit it out, blow it all over our collective faces!
05:06 - Mandi & Derek duke it out school girl style
05:35 - Preliminary reports indicate that Erick likes it in the rear confirming his previous employment as a Mexican Maintenance Man!
05:38 - Another profound Fannee Doolee from the lips of Mandi P.
05:44 - Fellatio with an iRiver never sounded so good
05:54 - The iRiver attempts to take advantage of Erick while he’s still a little drunk
06:05 - Third Fannee Doolee right on schedule
06:13 - First attempts at getting the FUCK outta there
06:38 - Erick introduces Scott and also breaks the first rule of our podcasting code, NO LAST NAMES!!!
06:57 - Every time Erick says Scott’s name an angel either cries or looses its wings
07:13 - Our second attempt at the getting the FUCK outta there
07:21 - Erick introduces his DJ on retainer, DJ 5ARAH
07:35 - What does a clown horn sound like?
07:46 - DJ 5ARAH talks about Exciter the album while Erick talks about Exciter Dildos
07:56 - Erick’s bleeding and is then offered the temporary use of a tampon
08:02 - Fannee Doolee number 4 is heard in the background
08:09 - Erick’s hand is getting a lot of play during this very short podcast
08:25 - ¡EL FIN!

- The C-Cast